THE DILEMMA OF A CONTRITE HEART

 

THE DILEMMA OF A CONTRITE HEART

Out of the depths I cry to you oh Lord; Lord will you let my flesh put you to shame? From the state of my confusion and reluctance to the service of you, do not let your Holy name be profaned. Will the sins of my past life stop me from your mission Lord? Your will Lord prevails.

In the days of my search for the wisdom of the world did my steps move away from your precepts. The push of my youthful exuberance Lord has left my life in habits that contradicts your ways. My thoughts and loins have grown wild in ways not pleasing to you oh Lord. The desire to be materially happy has led to the consciousness of the world.

 These quests Lord have barricaded my view of you. I am left in a dilemma of whether or not I am called to serve. The desires to serve you Lord Increases in my heart, Lord are you calling me or am I calling myself. Will the sins of my youth catch up with me before my Banns or will they perpetually remind me of how sinful I am even at the altar? Will I Lord over grow the popular opinions or will I continue to mingle in crowd.

The voice of the prophet tells me to leave the formation ground, to whom Lord do I meet. The Lamp and light of the Holy Spirit is dim and ready to go off, oh Lord Come to my aid. For like Peter I have denied you countless times, but Lord I desire to walk with you. My flesh is heavy upon me; on a daily it draws me to the mud of sin. My heart is ready oh Lord, my heart is ready. Do not let me out of your dwelling place, for in you there is mercy. Your Love oh Lord consumes me, the thoughts of you is my delight. Strengthen me Lord, towards keeping your commands and that of the church.

Your way oh Lord I will walk, with a strong heart and resistance to popular opinion. For you oh Lord has promised to wash me clean and to forgive the sins of my past life, if I call with a contrite heart. Your commandments Lord I will keep, with a firm and docile heart to Your will and that of the church. For as in the days of Samuel, here I am, I have come to do your will. For your will Lord will be my delight, with your spirit and grace I will do exploits. In your house oh Lord shall I dwell, in fear and trembling to the service of you. For with you Lord I will rise when I fall, only if you do not deny me your spirit.

Prayer: That your spirit Lord may never depart from me. Oh Mary, Intercede for me.

Kech

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